I'm excited that Loren Fogelman has decided to share with me as part of my series on perseverance. Loren Fogelman is author of The Winning Point and founder of Expert Sports Performance.com, a company devoted to teaching elite athletes how to consistently achieve high performance, maintain focus during competitions and create the confidence to reach their BIG goals. Having been a psychotherapist since 1985, she knows how to identify core issues -- the challenges that are getting in the way of your game – and how to tackle them with a laser-focused approach. During courses and coaching programs, Loren teaches her clients proven strategies for reaching their goals by working smarter, not harder. Psychology, physiology and productivity strategies when combined create a comprehensive training program, boosting performance.
I initially reached out to Loren earlier this year for advice about a career in sport psychology. She is a valuable resource to many and a mentor to me. I was also delighted to find out that is a rower. I'm honoured that she took time out her busy schedule to be part of the series. Thanks Loren! Check out her interview below.
What is the best piece of advice you have ever received? Who did you receive it from?
Just like I challenge my clients, it is important for me to be challenged as well. So I am always looking for ways to stretch myself. Spending time with people who strive for excellence is highly motivating for me. It was while talking with my business coach that she challenged me to begin networking as I was transitioning from being a therapist to what I am currently doing now. sports performance consulting. Well, I hid in my office for 12 years because going to networking events was so uncomfortable. I used all of the excuses of not enough time, I never meet the right people, I hate small talk. Have you done that too?
The best piece of advice I received about networking, especially when I didn't know anyone at the event, was to act as if it was my event and I was the host. As a relationship person, I always wanted to make my guests feel comfortable and welcomed. So acting as if I owned the room changed everything. Instead of standing alone wondering why no one was talking to me I now approached others with an interest in knowing more about them. This was a game changer for me.
Tapping into my interest in meeting other people made all the difference, I am much more relaxed. Actually, now it is a lot of fun. If you have felt the same way as me, I'd love to hear what worked for you.
How important is mentorship in terms of your success?
Mentorship is a must. I continue to be a student first because there is always more to learn or something I can be doing even better. I love being a part of mastermind groups, privately working with a mentor and going to conferences.
Along with me continuing to learn new approaches, concepts and strategies, I also pass the information down the line to my clients. They benefit from the time and money I've invested in ongoing learning. I take my clients up the ladder of success along with me.
What has been the best moment in your life so far?
Just one? Aside from my wedding, my kids and my family I will focus on my biggest accomplishment. A defining moment has been finally writing my first book, The Winning Point. Deciding to write a book, putting what I know into words and then seeing it all come together through the edits and rewrites has been a powerful experience. I am so excited to be sharing that part of myself with others. Teaching what I have learned along the years about mindset to help athletes reach their highest potential
What tips would you have for living a healthy life?
You have an obligation to yourself to be happy. If there is a struggle in some part of your life then there is also a struggle on the inside. You don't have to figure it out all on your own. Bring positive supportive people onto your team. Once you've made the decision, really committed to something, the resistance, the excuses all melt away.
How do you motivate yourself to persist despite setbacks?
Learning about the breakdown before the breakthrough changed everything for me. What I have found for myself, and for my clients, is that there is typically a breakdown before there is a breakthrough. During breakdown bad stuff happens. I might get sick, injured, have electronic issues. It is like one problem after another arises.What I know now is that the breakdown is an indication that a breakthrough is right around the corner. I've realized the breakdown is just a test to see how focused and committed I am to my goals, my purpose. It is like I am being tested to see if I can be distracted by the present problems from the bigger picture. Once I realize that I am in a breakdown I actually become very excited, even with all these problems occurring, because I know a breakthrough is right around the corner if I remain committed to my purpose. It works, try it next time and see for yourself.
What has been your biggest setback? How did you deal with it? What did you learn from it?
Setbacks. The biggest one was when Roxanne, our daughter, decided to move to Israel. We always thought she would live close by. When she announced she was moving to Israel she it took about two weeks for her to make her plans and move. Several months later she told us she was volunteering to join the Israeli Defense Force. She became a combat medic in a special forces unit. Knowing that she was always in a hot zone, putting her life on the line was something I had anticipated. We had some long discussions about her decision. Once I knew she was totally committed to her decision, I had no choice but to support her. Yes, as her mom I continued to be concerned for her. Supporting her with her decision, regardless of the outcome, was the right thing for me to do.
How do you deal with critics?
That is why there is a delete button on my keyboard. People who know me know I am a straight-shooter. Critics ought to be holding a mirror up to themselves and doing their own work instead.
How important is social support in overcoming obstacles?
It is critical. My biggest support is Steve, my husband. Over the years I have found others through mastermind groups and social media who are willing to champion for me when I have hit a wall. Fortunately, my expertise is about using success principles to reach your highest potential. Because of my own experience, what I have seen with my clients and been taught by mentors I view obstacles differently than most people.
It just means something is not aligned with one of my core values or I haven't figured out the approach to overcome the obstacle yet. The goal is to continue taking steady action steps and trusting that the next step will appear when the time is right.
What advice would you give others about goal setting?
Write out your goals and set a deadline for the milestones. Take inspired action and don't worry if you mess up because it will happen. Allow yourself to fail. Failure does not define you. The most successful people fail much more than anyone else. It is because they are consistently taking risks, stretching themselves, to play a bigger game.
What life lesson have you learned that you would like to pass along to others?
I can always turn a negative into a positive. Be a student first, and learn from everyone you encounter. Sure, it's hard sometimes but it is possible to reach your big goals once the decision has been made. When you're not sure what to do next. get out of your head and into your heart. It is your heart which will always lead you in the right direction even when it feels impossible.
Thanks Loren for sharing your knowledge with us!!!
Thank you for reading and your presence at this beach retreat. You Rock! I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts in the comment section below.
See you at the beach!