Coping With a Long-Distance Relationship

What happens when you meet that special someone, and then they move away? Do you pursue them, or do you forget them and find another who lives closer to you?

I find I’m hearing this question a lot in my circle of friends and with others in their twenties and early thirties. Therefore, I thought I would share this question with you all.

Tell me if any of these scenarios sound familiar to you:

  • I met this special someone during school; after I graduated, I moved to a job somewhere else.
  • I met a special someone on vacation, and then we both had to go back to our “real” lives.
  • I met a really special person, then found out they have a job where they are travelling all of the time.

Your twenties and early thirties can be a transitional time, with people relocating for school, work, personal interest, etc. Many young people are moving across the country and around the world for better opportunities in their field of interest.  I find factoring a relationship into your life is hard when your career and school cause your life to be slightly unstable.  If you do date and then leave, you may appear to be a commitment phobe.

So picture this:  You meet someone and befriend them, and you realize that this person would be someone you could consider marrying, as they have all the characteristics you would like in a mate.  However, you can’t continue your lives together as one has to go away for school and you stay in the city for work.  Even a city a minimal distance away, two hours for example, is still far as the other person won’t be with you day-to-day; they can only be with you on the weekends.

The communication aspect of such a relationship may not be affected by the distance; with the increase in technology, couples can keep up the contact.  I know many couples who chat daily using either the telephone, Skype, texting, IM, etc.

Despite this frequent communication, you may still lack the physical contact and close proximity of the person you care about.  This “special someone” is not physically present in your life on a daily basis.  Consequently, you may feel quite alone even though you are in a relationship.  Despite knowing your “special someone” is living and breathing elsewhere, you may feel that they are a fantasy – not real in your daily life. If you stop talking to them, you may feel like the person is lost from your life.

Many of my friends and acquaintances have lived with such circumstances.  The separation can be hard on their lives and relationship.  In these circumstances, what happens if the couple is separated for a long time? Should each try to move on to someone new, or should they try to remain connected to each other?

Therefore, my questions for thought are:  Do you forget about this distant “special person” and move on to someone who is in your city at the moment?

If so, how do you forget about this someone who a) you don’t really want to forget and b) with whom others seem incomparable?

It’s hard to remain close to someone who is far away.

My advice: Never give up on someone who is special to you. True relationships always find a way of working out.

(c) Laura Ouilette.
(c) Laura Ouilette.

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