I was watching Bridget Jones's Diary last night with my sisters.  It is a hilarious chick flick with the main character Bridget (played by Renee Zellweger) caught into a love triangle between Hugh Grant and Colin Firth. The one thing that saddened me to see the main character's fascination with weight.  Bridget is a woman in her early thirties that wants to find a man.

Since I'm doing work in bullying and reducing victimization, I thought it was appropriate that I put an article about this issue, emotional/psychological abuse.

I have heard of many emotionally abusive situations and some people are in relationships where this is occurring right now. Women do this too but this article is to help other women stand up for themselves if they are in an abusive relationship. Emotional abuse is hard to quantify but it can be extremely hurtful to the victim and hence why I'm bringing it up.

I went shopping the other day for a new bathing suit that I can use to go swimming in every morning.  I'm a fish; I am truly happy when I am in or on the water.  That is why two of my favourite activities are: rowing and swimming.  I am getting back into my routine of going to the pool early in the morning and swimming laps.

As I was shopping the other day, I realized how much putting on a swimsuit instills insecurity and fear in many people.  You want a suit that shapes your body and makes you look your best.  We are all raised with media telling us how we should look.  In a sense, wearing a swimsuit out in public makes you extremely vulnerable as many people see the shape of your body.   We get self-conscious as sometimes the shape of our body may not fit the "ideal stereotype".  For some this can be terrifying. I remember when I was in my early teens and self-conscious of my new curves; I would wear a t-shirt over my suit when I was at the cottage as I didn't want anyone to look at my body and possibly judge me.  I grew out of that phase and am just wear bathing suits into the pool now.  I realized that people will judge you regardless but you cannot let that control/prevent you from having fun and pursuing the activities you enjoy.

I happened to see Pink's new music video for her song "Perfect". Since I was posted yesterday (The Power of Words) about body image, self-esteem, and eating disorder, I thought the message of the video is a great one to share.

** Caution though the girl does engage in self-mutilating behaviour and its not appropriate for everyone.

I have dealt with this situation far too often in many organizations (school, work, sports, religious, etc., non-profit) and that I thought I would address the issue and see what your opinion is on the matter.

As many of you know organizations (as is society) are usually divided up in a hierarchy based on position of authority or experience. Individuals who have been there for a long time or of higher authority are usually esteemed over people of little experience in the area and/or people with less power.  That’s just the common norm in society.

When I look back over my lifetime it seems that whenever my girlfriends and I get together we talk about relationships. Some mention what they are looking for in the "perfect" guy, others are mentioning about how they aren't liking the relationship they are in.

One of my good friends mentioned how she made a list of generally what she's looking for in her perfect guy. Oh and when I say perfect, I mean perfect/best fit for her.

I was reading Women's Health the other day, and Amy Spencer wrote an article called: Is it time to Rewrite your List???

After years of experience in the world of competitive and recreational sport (through active participation and watching many events), I know the importance of the coaches' role in the athletes development. There are some amazing coaches out there and if you have the pleasure to work with them, it’s a joy. However as in any occupation there are some which ruin the reputation  of the role for all the others.

The "bad coaches" in this case are the ones who go too far and "abuse" their athletes.  I have been doing a lot of work in emotional abuse and how harsh words can impact a person’s life. After reading an article by Ashley Stirling and Gretchen Kerr (2008) from the University of Toronto called “Defining and categorizing emotional abuse in sport”, many of athlete’s experiences got me thinking. 

People have many roles in their lives.  I became aware of all my roles when I had to write them down one day in class. For example, this is what I came up with:

- daughter, sister, grand-daughter, niece, friend, colleague, athlete, student, etc.

The one that stuck out to me that I have really examined the importance of recently was that of a sister.  I have always been the eldest sister to two younger beautiful sisters.  I think that because of the fact that I'm older than them I have always been very protective of them.

Have you ever been told by people that you are too nice? Or why do you put up with this behaviour? I have seen it happen on way too manyoccasions. In a relationship (either romantic or platonic) you don’t want to offend the other person so you give in to what they want. Then at some point you wake up and realize “hey what I need matters just as much” and that you are worth standing up for.

I have been to two weddings in the past couple weeks; one as a bridesmaid and one as a guest.  The main question that was on many peoples minds when they saw a mid-to-late twenty something woman was: WHY AREN'T YOU MARRIED YET?

For example, here is the conversation that I had with my cab driver leaving the city a couple days later.

"So what brought you to town? Were you on business?"

"No, I was in a friends wedding."

"Oh ok. So... when's your wedding?"

"Not for a while. I haven't found the right guy yet"

I woke up this morning and as I was having coffee, I watched a deer and her two fawns as they were eating and playing around in our front yard. It was adorable to watch these two siblings play with each other and have so much fun. They are always around and feel like adopted pets. I continued my morning and then left in the car an hour later. As I was driving, two minutes down the road a police car was on the side of the road with his hazards on. Passing him, I saw him picking up the dead fawn, which had obviously just been hit by a car. So sad - life ends so quickly. However, watching the police officer - he treated the fawn with respect and obviously sad that a life had just been lost. I love animals and all I could think of was how the mom and sister were dealing with the loss. All of this pain because a driver was going way too fast along the road.

I love having a great friend of mine around me. I know that he will always be completely honest with me and share his true opinion on issues and that is a rarity these days. When we go shopping, he will be honest about what he thinks (good and bad) of the clothes I pick out. Yes he might say some clothes aren't flattering but when he says it looks amazing, I trust him. He will be real and honest with me (and everyone else) and that is characteristic I really appreciate in our friendship. I give the same thing back to him. I really admire his courage to be bold and stand up for himself. I have learned a lot from him. He isnt afraid to ask the tough questions.